Biscuit boy
bad dates,relationships,dating advice,funny dates,dating disasters,dating
girl on a bad date
I met Dan on a Facebook speed-dating\r\nsite. It’s not the kind of place you expect\r\nto meet someone halfway decent, which\r\nis why I was surprised Dan seemed so\r\nnormal – or so I thought. We exchanged\r\na few ‘getting to know you’ emails and\r\narranged to meet just before Christmas.\r\nThat was when I got the text: “I’m sorry,\r\nI can’t make it tonight because I’m\r\nbaking biscuits – can we do it another\r\ntime?” “You’re what?” I replied. “They’re\r\nfor my Mum to decorate the Xmas tree\r\nwith,” he typed back.\r\nNothing wrong with that, I thought, it’s\r\nsweet in an odd way. So I agreed to\r\nrearrange. Later, Dan sent me a picture of\r\nthe biscuits (I kid you not) and promised\r\nto bring them on the date. Now, I like\r\na Hob Nob as much as the next girl, but\r\nI wasn’t sure I wanted to date one.\r\nDan turned out to be so obsessed\r\nwith biscuits, he texted me a day before\r\nour date: “Only one day ’til biscuits!”\r\nWhen we met, he really had brought his\r\nbiscuits in a tin (which he wanted back\r\n– see, obsessed!) and, guess what? He’d\r\nadded too much bicarb of soda and they\r\nleft me foaming at the mouth. I haven’t\r\nlooked at a Ginger Nut since.
The one who \'let me go\'
bad dates,relationships,dating advice,funny dates,dating disasters,dating,stingy,money,skint date
money
It took me a while to spot Jay across the bar because he looked like a balder, skinnier, paler version of the cute guy I’d seen on a dating\r\nwebsite. But looks aren’t everything, right? The\r\nfirst thing he said (after “hello”, but before “how\r\nare you?”) was, “I’ve just bought my own place, so I only have £10 to spend tonight.” That’s fine,\r\nI figured, we’d find a Happy Hour and split the\r\nbill. By 8.30pm, having bought two rounds each,\r\nI asked if he fancied another. He replied, “No,\r\nI’ll let you go now,” with a glance at his watch...\r\n
Can I get Prawn Crackers with that?
bad dates,relationships,dating advice,funny dates,dating disasters,dating,stingy dates
fortune cookie chinese food
I thought dating a toyboy would be fun\r\n– I was wrong. He was 19 and we met\r\nin a London bar. He suggested going to\r\n‘a lovely little Chinese’ he knew. Great,\r\nI thought. Until we walked into Mr\r\nWoos, a kebab-shop-come-café, of the\r\nvariety I’ve only ever visited at 3am. “It’s\r\nbrilliant,” he enthused, “chow mein,\r\nsweet and sour chicken and a can of\r\ndrink for a fiver!” That’s how I found\r\nmyself eating chicken from a polystyrene\r\nbox, sipping Pepsi through a straw and\r\nwishing I hadn’t worn my best frock.
Kagool King
bad dates,dating,dating disasters,relationships,dating stories,funny dates
group walking
I know it’s what’s underneath\r\nthat counts, but some things\r\nyou just can’t get over. Like\r\nthe man who wore a kagool\r\non our first date (no, he hadn’t\r\njust come back from a walking\r\nholiday). He’d teamed it with\r\nGore-Tex hiking boots which,\r\nhe told me, made his feet feel\r\nhot. Yuk! Oh, and then he\r\nordered a shandy. Game Over.\r\n
Plastered!
bad dates,dating,dating disasters,relationships,dating stories,funny dates
girl on laptop
I turned up for one internet date to find ‘TooBlueEyes’\r\nwaiting for me with a large, flesh-coloured plaster on his\r\nforehead. He was so self-conscious and nervous, I couldn’t\r\nbring myself to ask him what the plaster was hiding!\r\n
Tall Tom
bad dates,dating,dating disasters,relationships,dating stories,funny dates
man at a keyboard
In heels, I’m almost 5ft 10in, so I love a tall man, and I’m not\r\nshy about asking prospective dates for their measurements.\r\nTom said he was 6ft 7in, but his pictures on Facebook\r\nconfused me. As I scrolled through them, I couldn’t help\r\nbut notice he was the shortest of all his friends – by a long\r\nway. Then I realised he was shorter than most of the girls\r\nin the pictures, too. “He’s lying,” a friend said, as I emailed\r\nTom for clarification. “The truth is, I belong to a Tall Persons\r\nClub, and I’m the shortest member,” came the reply. “Oh,\r\nand I have size 18 feet – wink, wink,” Needless to say, I\r\ndidn’t date him – I just joined the nearest Tall Persons Club.\r\n
Cry-Baby
bad dates,dating,dating disasters,relationships,dating stories,funny dates
worried man
I went on a date with a guy who was\r\nquite a bit older than me, thinking he’d\r\nmake a refreshing change from my\r\nrecent immature ex. But what started as\r\na pleasant evening went downhill when\r\nwe bumped into a male friend of mine.\r\nWhen I welcomed him with a peck on\r\nthe cheek, bizarrely my date started to\r\ncry. Yes, cry. When I asked why, he\r\nsaid he couldn’t stop thinking about\r\nme kissing my friend in front of him.\r\n
Swampy
bad dates,dating,dating disasters,relationships,dating stories,funny dates
woman looking shocked
I had a date with a dreadlocked, grubby tree-dweller. He was\r\nnice enough, until he told me he used to be a stripper – and\r\ntook off his shirt in a family pub. He got as far his navel ring\r\nbefore I made my excuses (I told him I felt sick) and left. Some dates make you realise being single isn’t as bad as you thought…\r\n
