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We Heart Tuesdays: Checking his Phone - Right or Wrong?

It's the start of any good emotional thriller. The woman sneaks a look at her boyfriend's mobile phone only to find a strange message from a mystery woman. She then spends her time hacking into his emails and secretly checking his coat pockets when he gets home from work. But this type of paranoia only exists in films, right?

Apparently not. According to a survey conducted to mark the release of James Patterson’s latest novel Private London, 58% of the adult population have spied on their partner in some way or another with almost a quarter of those surveyed (22.5%) having sneaked a look at their partner’s emails.

Perhaps some of us do have a reason to be a bit paranoid. If you have caught your partner lying on more than one occasion maybe you should check his phone to make sure he isn’t making up more stories. After all, who wants to be in a relationship with someone who can't tell the truth? But therein lies the problem- if you resort to spying on your partner doesn’t that make you a liar and manipulator too? And what if that suspicious text just turns out to be nothing and you have just invaded the privacy of your nearest and dearest?

When trying to find out what your partner's up to we think the best course of action is a good old-fashioned conversation rather than resorting to an embarrassing form of domestic espionage. The survey also suggests that women are the worst culprits often going through their partner's post, checking their pockets and following them to expose their secrets. So why don't over 50% of the adult population trust their partner? Maybe it's because we know how easy lying can be. We can all shield our texts with pin codes and our emails are protected by passwords, having a separate life online is all too easy. Not surprisingly the younger generation are more cautious in relationships with over half of those aged between 16 and 24 regularly checking their partner's mobile phone without permission. The age-group most distrusting of their partner who scrutinise their communication and every move, is those between 25 and 34, meanwhile those over the age of 55 are least likely to doubt their other half.

I once sneaked a look at a friend's text messages when she left her phone with me on a night out. I think a bit of me was hoping to find something incriminating in order to justify my own lack of respect for her privacy. Instead I found what you would expect; a few messages from her mum, one from her boyfriend and a few texts from mutual friends. The guilt I felt afterwards was not worth it and I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Here at Company HQ we know how hard it can be to resist the urge to check his Facebook messages when he forgets to log out, but you must resist. After all how would you feel if you found out someone was looking at your private messages? Of course, trust is something that needs to be earned - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go looking for evidence that your man is lying. Remember the phrase innocent until proven guilty- so unless he does something to make you convinced he is dishonest, try and enjoy a relationship free of spying.

Better cancel that order of night vision goggles then...! If you have been in a similar situation, or if you have a habit of spying on your man, we want to hear from you -comment away below!

By Sarah Jordan
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